1. |
Torrent
04:59
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reflections of the sunlight first attracted me
the illusion of the sky in a place where I could be
I saw myself moving on the surface of your skin
lost my balance when I tried to touch and fell in
reaching out for something to take hold
everything that I found let me go
taken in by a side of you unseen
emotionless and swallowing me
in every way i'd struggle the more that you would pull
the deeper I would get the more you had control
the heavier i'd feel and the darker you would be
what I didn't know about you was killing me
slipping down where you would not let me breathe
defeated by your will to have me
reaching up for someone to take hold
everything that i felt let me go
it seemed the day had arrived
and i became the sea
and i became the sky
she came and kissed me
and i was home
only then when I was calm were you calm too
only when I held my breath and gave myself to you
the lighter I would feel and the brighter you would be
only then could you lift me up where I could breathe
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2. |
Memory
03:01
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memories turn to dust and float away
clump together in the corners of my mind
someday I will find a maid
she'll clean these corners till there's little left of you
she'll open windows in my mind
that I had locked for fear of falling out
let the breeze in, clear out this stale air
so I can breathe well at last
she will make me cut my hair
clip away the timeline of my past
she will insist that I'm too thin
she will make me eat again
then she'll put me to bed
tuck me in and pet my head
and i'll sleep so deep that I won't dream
at least that's the way that it will seem
and in the morning when I wake up
the red will be clear from my eyes
and I might not know it right away
but it'll be true
there will be little left of you
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3. |
Desperately
04:50
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i need desperately
to will into and wander
denying everything
killing me is ours
i'll leave behind all sympathy
for anything i cannot reach
to justify every need
for anything i cannot reach
so the darkness shall be light
in every shadow I confide
I will follow love and fear
till every shadow disappears
and as always i will wait
as if you would ever feel the same
i will still selfishly believe that you will always follow me
hoping no matter how naive that we were ever meant to be
so the darkness shall be light
in every shadow I confide
I will follow love and fear
as every shadow disappears
it was never meant to be
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4. |
Restless
05:18
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waiting with bated breath
weighing every consequence
hanging on to empty promises
if you can't save me
then nothing can
so I will retrace every memory left
'til I cannot forgive what I cannot forget
i'll repress the rest
with every second guess
until I cannot live
without this restlessness
and you say
just wait
and someday
you'll wake
fading in and out of consciousness
until I cannot trust what I cannot regret
and you will keep me weak
and emotionless
until I cannot live
without this hopelessness
and you say
just wait
and someday
you'll wake
i'll wait
without hope
without faith
without love
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5. |
Left
01:49
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i cant sweep away
the crumbs that
you have left
for the colony
of ants inside my head
killing me
i cant shoo away
the flies that you let in
laying little eggs
in the garbage that you left
filling me
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6. |
Still
04:08
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cold set into warmth to take your place
with what little hope remained
letting the moment slip away
but it could never be the same
and I believe you
when you say only the things I want you to
but I don't need you
I feel the same despondency I always do
with you
until the morning comes
just redeem what never was
and you can leave me when it's done
I won't be the only one
and I believe you
when you say only the things I want you to
but I don't need you
I feel the same despondency I always do
with you
and I wont leave you
til you've taken everything I have to lose
and I wont need you
to feel the same despondency I always do
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7. |
Ocea
05:25
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one hand held open
one closed in a fist
one tide approaching
one pulling me in
wandering towards
running away
to find the source
of my escape
it went on unspoken
lulled knowingly in
in light of devotion
worn hopelessly thin
I went through the motions
enacting the dream
abiding the moment
allowing the stream
lead me to the ocean
unable to breathe
the tide will release me
finally free
I never knew
I could be so naïve
and so consumed
in you
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8. |
( )
05:30
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9. |
Shadows
06:39
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everything in this room whispers to me
things I cannot see, things I should not think
and i'll never be alone
for as long as I have to go back to sleep
an echo of the day beckons me to stay away from dreams
the moment I slip away
is the moment you get away with me
casting shadows in the dark
i miss naivete like sleep
the secrets that we use to keep
i need lies like warmth and like light
to will into love and confide
and you say you know how i feel
but I just awoke from our dream
and what we both thought was real
was as impossible as it seemed
I miss denial and fear
withholding the limits of here
I need to atone and abide
give into the source as a guide
you say you know how I feel
but i just awoke from the dream
and all that i thought was real
was as impossible as it seemed
and you say you know how I feel
but Im juxtaposed with my dream
and all we fought to conceal
was impossible to redeem
and we say we know how to feel
but we're just evoking the dream
and all that we lost wasn't real
just impossible as it seemed
casting shadows in the dark
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